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  1. #9301
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    I quit my job as a fortune teller because the future's not what it used to be.
    Not a 2nd childhood, still in the 1st

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  4. #9302
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    Did you hear about the vertically challenged clairvoyant that escaped from jail?
    The headline read "Small medium at large"
    Not a 2nd childhood, still in the 1st

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  6. #9303
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    ???
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    Not a 2nd childhood, still in the 1st

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  8. #9304
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    When I worked . . . . . . . .
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    Not a 2nd childhood, still in the 1st

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  10. #9305
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    Not a 2nd childhood, still in the 1st

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  12. #9306
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    Not a 2nd childhood, still in the 1st

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  14. #9307
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    Not a 2nd childhood, still in the 1st

  15. #9308
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    Too harsh?
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    Not a 2nd childhood, still in the 1st

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  17. #9309
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    Not a 2nd childhood, still in the 1st

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  19. #9310
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    '09 F800 ST
    A salesman in a strange city was feeling horny and wanted release. He inquired for the address of a good house of ill repute. He was told to go to 365 East West Street.

    By mistake, he went to 365 WEST East Street, the office of a podiatrist. Being met by a beautiful woman in a white uniform surprised but intrigued him.

    She directed him to an examining room and told him to uncover and someone would be with him soon.

    He loved the thought of the table and the reclining chair and was really getting aroused because of the strange and different approach this house offered.

    Finally the doctor's assistant, a really gorgeous redhead entered and found him sitting in the chair with his generous member in his hand.

    "My goodness", she exclaimed, "I was expecting to see a foot."

    "Well," he said, "if you're going to complain about an inch then I'll take my business elsewhere."
    "I don't regret growing older, it's a privilege denied to many - enjoy it - you may be the first to still be riding your F800 at 100yrs old!"

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  21. #9311
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    I've been invited to my first Constipation Anonymous meeting next week.

    Unfortunately there's no way I can go.
    "I don't regret growing older, it's a privilege denied to many - enjoy it - you may be the first to still be riding your F800 at 100yrs old!"

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  23. #9312
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    I wanted to learn some pagan rituals,

    So I bought a druid yourself book.
    "I don't regret growing older, it's a privilege denied to many - enjoy it - you may be the first to still be riding your F800 at 100yrs old!"

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  25. #9313
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    A fella has 3 daughters, all about 16, named Flo, France and Luck.

    There is a knock at the door, the Father opens it to see a young man standing there.

    "I'm Joe and I've come to take Flo to the show. Can she go?"

    Flo appears and off they trot.

    5 mins later there is another knock, and Daddy opens up to see another young man.

    "I'm Vance and I've come to take France to the dance. Any chance?"

    And of they go into the night.

    Another 5 mins passes, and there is another knock. A third young man is at the door.

    "My name's Chuck"

    "I think you better go home" Says the Dad.
    "I don't regret growing older, it's a privilege denied to many - enjoy it - you may be the first to still be riding your F800 at 100yrs old!"

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  27. #9314
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    Two women were in the waiting room of an abortion clinic, when one noticed that the other was knitting what looked like a tiny, blue baby bonnet. The first lady said to the knitter, "Excuse me, but don't you regard it as at least mildly tasteless to be sewing a baby bonnet when you are about to have an abortion?"

    "Not even remotely tasteless," the second lady said. "It’s a body bag."
    "I don't regret growing older, it's a privilege denied to many - enjoy it - you may be the first to still be riding your F800 at 100yrs old!"

  28. #9315
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    '09 F800 ST
    THE ITALIAN FIDELITY TEST





    I was a very happy man. My wonderful girlfriend and I had been
    dating for over a year. So we decided to get married.

    There was only one little thing bothering me.

    It was her beautiful younger sister, Sofia.

    My prospective sister-in-law was twenty-two, wore very tight mini
    skirts, and generally was bra-less.

    She would regularly bend down when she was near me. I always got
    more than a nice view.

    It had to be deliberate. She never did it around anyone else.

    One day she called me and asked me to come over. 'To check my
    Sister's wedding- invitations' she said.

    She was alone when I arrived. She whispered to me that she had
    feelings and desires for me. She couldn't overcome them anymore.

    She told me that she wanted me just once before I got married. She
    said "Before you commit your life to my sister".

    Well, I was in total shock, and I couldn't say a word. She said, "I'm
    going upstairs to my bedroom" she said, "if you want one last wild
    fling, just come up and have me".

    I was stunned and frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs.

    I stood there for a moment. Then turned and made a bee-line straight
    to the front door. I opened the door, and headed straight towards my
    car.

    Lord and behold, my fianc's entire family was standing outside, all
    clapping and cheering!

    With tears in his eyes, my future father-in-law hugged me. He said,
    'Frankie, we are very happy that you have passed our little test. We
    couldn't ask for a better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family
    my son.'

    And the moral of this story is:



    Always keep your condoms in your car.
    "I don't regret growing older, it's a privilege denied to many - enjoy it - you may be the first to still be riding your F800 at 100yrs old!"

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  30. #9316
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    "I don't regret growing older, it's a privilege denied to many - enjoy it - you may be the first to still be riding your F800 at 100yrs old!"

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  32. #9317
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    "I don't regret growing older, it's a privilege denied to many - enjoy it - you may be the first to still be riding your F800 at 100yrs old!"

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  34. #9318
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    "I don't regret growing older, it's a privilege denied to many - enjoy it - you may be the first to still be riding your F800 at 100yrs old!"

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  36. #9319
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    "I don't regret growing older, it's a privilege denied to many - enjoy it - you may be the first to still be riding your F800 at 100yrs old!"

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  38. #9320
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    "I don't regret growing older, it's a privilege denied to many - enjoy it - you may be the first to still be riding your F800 at 100yrs old!"

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  40. #9321
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    "I don't regret growing older, it's a privilege denied to many - enjoy it - you may be the first to still be riding your F800 at 100yrs old!"

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  42. #9322
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    Not a 2nd childhood, still in the 1st

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  44. #9323
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    Did you hear about the bowler who dreamed he bowled a 300 game?
    When he awoke he realized he had one pin standing.
    Not a 2nd childhood, still in the 1st

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  46. #9324
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    ,
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    Not a 2nd childhood, still in the 1st

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  48. #9325
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    A picture is worth . . . . . . . . .
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    Not a 2nd childhood, still in the 1st

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  50. #9326
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    "I don't regret growing older, it's a privilege denied to many - enjoy it - you may be the first to still be riding your F800 at 100yrs old!"

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  52. #9327
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    "I don't regret growing older, it's a privilege denied to many - enjoy it - you may be the first to still be riding your F800 at 100yrs old!"

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  54. #9328
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    "I don't regret growing older, it's a privilege denied to many - enjoy it - you may be the first to still be riding your F800 at 100yrs old!"

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  56. #9329
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    "I don't regret growing older, it's a privilege denied to many - enjoy it - you may be the first to still be riding your F800 at 100yrs old!"

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  58. #9330
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    "I don't regret growing older, it's a privilege denied to many - enjoy it - you may be the first to still be riding your F800 at 100yrs old!"

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  60. #9331
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    "I don't regret growing older, it's a privilege denied to many - enjoy it - you may be the first to still be riding your F800 at 100yrs old!"

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  62. #9332
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    "I don't regret growing older, it's a privilege denied to many - enjoy it - you may be the first to still be riding your F800 at 100yrs old!"

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  64. #9333
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    Not a 2nd childhood, still in the 1st

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  66. #9334
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    #45 in grade school
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    Not a 2nd childhood, still in the 1st

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  68. #9335
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    Not a 2nd childhood, still in the 1st

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  70. #9336
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    O u c h!!!!!!
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    Not a 2nd childhood, still in the 1st

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  72. #9337
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    Not a 2nd childhood, still in the 1st

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  74. #9338
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    Not a 2nd childhood, still in the 1st

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  76. #9339
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    Not a 2nd childhood, still in the 1st

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    "I don't regret growing older, it's a privilege denied to many - enjoy it - you may be the first to still be riding your F800 at 100yrs old!"

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    "I don't regret growing older, it's a privilege denied to many - enjoy it - you may be the first to still be riding your F800 at 100yrs old!"

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    "I don't regret growing older, it's a privilege denied to many - enjoy it - you may be the first to still be riding your F800 at 100yrs old!"

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