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Worst Jokes Ever!!!

10M views 27K replies 81 participants last post by  Richard230 
#1 ·
What did the baby light bulb say to his mama? I love you watts and watts.

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "Why the long face?"

A fish swims into a concrete wall and says "Dam!!"

Dyslexics of the world untie!!!

I often miss my ex, but my aim is improving

If you're opposed to gay marriage, blame straight couples. They're the ones having all the gay babies.

What's the difference between a woman with PMS and a pitbull? Lipstick.
 
#26 ·
A tomato family is out for an evening stroll. Baby tomato keeps falling behind and Mama tomato asks Papa tomato to do something. He walks back to Baby tomato, steps on this head and shouts, "Ketchup!!!" [:(]
 
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#30 ·
Guy walks into a tavern and notices a huge jar stuffed with dollar bills. Bartender says, "Make my horse laugh and you win the jar." Guy goes out to the barn, whispers in the horse's ear and the horse starts laughing. Same guy comes in a week later and notices another jar stuffed with dollars. Bartender says, "This time you have to make my horse cry." Guy goes out the barn, closes the door, and when the door reopens the horse is crying like a baby. Bartender says, "I've gotta ask, how'd you make my horse laugh?" Guy says, "I told him I had one bigger than his." Bartender says, "How'd you make him cry?" Guy says, "I showed him mine."
 
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#37 ·
Blonde goes into sex shop and asks to see the vibrators. The assistant says," certainly ma'am, have a look at the wall display over there and tell me which one you would like."
Blonde comes back to the assistant a half an hour later and says," I'd like the big red one at the end". "I'm sorry madam," says the assistant, "I'm afraid that's the fire extinguisher!"
 
#40 ·
When Richard Nixon was president, someone pee'd in the snow on the white house lawn and wrote "nixon is a putz" Nixon called in the head of the CIA and said he wanted the culprit caught today. Later that the day the head of the CIA told Mr Nixon that he had good news and bad news. Nixon said "What's the good news?" Head of the CIA says, "We did a urinalysis and it was Spiro Agnew" Nixon says "What the bad news?" CIA chief says "It's Pat's handwriting"
 
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