Worst Jokes Ever!!! - BMW F800 Riders Forum & Registry



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  1. #25451
    WildWilly's Avatar
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    I'm changing my name to Rice Krispies. Every time I move I snap, crackle and pop.
    2013 F800GT Graphite Metallic
    Not a 2nd childhood, still in the 1st

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  4. #25452
    WildWilly's Avatar
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    Motorcycle
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    .
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    2013 F800GT Graphite Metallic
    Not a 2nd childhood, still in the 1st

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  6. #25453
    WildWilly's Avatar
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    2013 F800GT Graphite Metallic
    Not a 2nd childhood, still in the 1st

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  8. #25454
    WildWilly's Avatar
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    '13 F800GT
    There are two rules in life:

    1) Never give out all the Information
    2013 F800GT Graphite Metallic
    Not a 2nd childhood, still in the 1st

  9. LikesRichard230, Roadpizza, oxytotl, IanA liked this post
  10. #25455
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    Trump is a great leader and has a magnificent mind.
    BMW F800S.

    There is no words to adequately describe the batshit crazies....

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  12. #25456
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    Motorcycle
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    Motorcycle
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    That joke isn't just the worst, it's the absolute sickest.
    As of Mon, 1st Feb 2016- ;
    Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery,
    Today is a gift (that's why it's called "the present")
    #1 tip I ride by: Ride as though you're invisible, not invincible
    Bikes so far: Honda CB250-Traded, Suzuki GS500F-Traded, '07 F800ST Matt Graphitan-Deceased, '10 F800ST Night Blue-sold, at present bikeless

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  14. #25457
    WildWilly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by steve n rose View Post
    That joke isn't just the worst, it's the absolute sickest.
    +1 - actually plus millions
    2013 F800GT Graphite Metallic
    Not a 2nd childhood, still in the 1st

  15. #25458
    WildWilly's Avatar
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    It's been a bit of a strange day. First, I found a hat full of money, and then I was chased by an angry man with a guitar.
    2013 F800GT Graphite Metallic
    Not a 2nd childhood, still in the 1st

  16. LikesRichard230, oxytotl liked this post
  17. #25459
    WildWilly's Avatar
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    Motorcycle
    '13 F800GT
    .
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    2013 F800GT Graphite Metallic
    Not a 2nd childhood, still in the 1st

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  19. #25460
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    BMW F800S.

    There is no words to adequately describe the batshit crazies....

  20. LikesWildWilly, oxytotl liked this post
  21. #25461
    WildWilly's Avatar
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    .
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    2013 F800GT Graphite Metallic
    Not a 2nd childhood, still in the 1st

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  23. #25462
    WildWilly's Avatar
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    2013 F800GT Graphite Metallic
    Not a 2nd childhood, still in the 1st

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  25. #25463
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    2013 F800GT Graphite Metallic
    Not a 2nd childhood, still in the 1st

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  27. #25464
    WildWilly's Avatar
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    What do they call a Bloody Mary made with carrot juice? A Bunny Mary.
    2013 F800GT Graphite Metallic
    Not a 2nd childhood, still in the 1st

  28. LikesRichard230, oxytotl liked this post
  29. #25465
    WildWilly's Avatar
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    '13 F800GT
    We all have to make sacrifices these days but the 6 foot lap dance is going to be hard to get used to.

    Ron White
    2013 F800GT Graphite Metallic
    Not a 2nd childhood, still in the 1st

  30. Likessteve n rose, Richard230, oxytotl liked this post
  31. #25466
    WildWilly's Avatar
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    Motorcycle
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    .
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    2013 F800GT Graphite Metallic
    Not a 2nd childhood, still in the 1st

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  33. #25467
    WildWilly's Avatar
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    2013 F800GT Graphite Metallic
    Not a 2nd childhood, still in the 1st

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  35. #25468
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    Here are some cartoons that a friend sent me this morning. I have a feeling that WildWilly might have posted a couple of these recently, so if you have seen them before just don't look. However, even if Willy has posted them before that doesn't make them any less funny the second time around.
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    Richard - Current bikes: 2016 BMW R1200RS, 2018 16.6 kWh Zero S, 2011 Royal Enfield Bullet 500 Classic, 2009 BMW F650GS, 2020 KTM 390 Duke, 2002 Yamaha FZ1 (FZS1000N) and a 1978 Honda Kick 'N Go Senior.

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  37. #25469
    WildWilly's Avatar
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    ,
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    2013 F800GT Graphite Metallic
    Not a 2nd childhood, still in the 1st

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  39. #25470
    WildWilly's Avatar
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    .
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    2013 F800GT Graphite Metallic
    Not a 2nd childhood, still in the 1st

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  41. #25471
    WildWilly's Avatar
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    '13 F800GT
    I told my suitcases there will be no vacation this year. I'm now dealing with emotional baggage.
    2013 F800GT Graphite Metallic
    Not a 2nd childhood, still in the 1st

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  43. #25472
    WildWilly's Avatar
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    ,
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    2013 F800GT Graphite Metallic
    Not a 2nd childhood, still in the 1st

  44. LikesRichard230, oxytotl, steve n rose liked this post
  45. #25473
    WildWilly's Avatar
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    .
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    2013 F800GT Graphite Metallic
    Not a 2nd childhood, still in the 1st

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  47. #25474
    WildWilly's Avatar
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    .
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    2013 F800GT Graphite Metallic
    Not a 2nd childhood, still in the 1st

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  49. #25475
    WildWilly's Avatar
    Points: 246,824, Level: 100

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    Bill
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    '13 F800GT
    The Legos store has reopened, people are lined up for blocks.
    2013 F800GT Graphite Metallic
    Not a 2nd childhood, still in the 1st

  50. Likesoxytotl, steve n rose, Richard230 liked this post
  51. #25476
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    Here are some more cute cartoons to brighten up your day.
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    Richard - Current bikes: 2016 BMW R1200RS, 2018 16.6 kWh Zero S, 2011 Royal Enfield Bullet 500 Classic, 2009 BMW F650GS, 2020 KTM 390 Duke, 2002 Yamaha FZ1 (FZS1000N) and a 1978 Honda Kick 'N Go Senior.

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  53. #25477
    WildWilly's Avatar
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    '
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    2013 F800GT Graphite Metallic
    Not a 2nd childhood, still in the 1st

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  55. #25478
    WildWilly's Avatar
    Points: 246,824, Level: 100

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    For Terry
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    2013 F800GT Graphite Metallic
    Not a 2nd childhood, still in the 1st

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  57. #25479
    WildWilly's Avatar
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    '13 F800GT
    How many tickles does it take to make a squid laugh? Ten-Tickles
    2013 F800GT Graphite Metallic
    Not a 2nd childhood, still in the 1st

  58. Likesoxytotl, steve n rose, Richard230 liked this post
  59. #25480
    WildWilly's Avatar
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    .
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    2013 F800GT Graphite Metallic
    Not a 2nd childhood, still in the 1st

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  61. #25481
    WildWilly's Avatar
    Points: 246,824, Level: 100

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    Bill
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    '13 F800GT
    Why is a bad joke like a dull pencil? It has no point.
    2013 F800GT Graphite Metallic
    Not a 2nd childhood, still in the 1st

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  63. #25482
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    2013 F800GT Graphite Metallic
    Not a 2nd childhood, still in the 1st

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    "I was cut out to be a genius. Unfortunately somebody forgot to put the pieces together"
    Tubby Clayton - Toc H founder

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    "I was cut out to be a genius. Unfortunately somebody forgot to put the pieces together"
    Tubby Clayton - Toc H founder

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  69. #25485
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    2013 F800GT Graphite Metallic
    Not a 2nd childhood, still in the 1st

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    Why did the chicken cross the road? To pose for a blasphemous photo op at St. John's Episcopal Church.
    2013 F800GT Graphite Metallic
    Not a 2nd childhood, still in the 1st

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    2013 F800GT Graphite Metallic
    Not a 2nd childhood, still in the 1st

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  75. #25488
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    "I was cut out to be a genius. Unfortunately somebody forgot to put the pieces together"
    Tubby Clayton - Toc H founder

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  77. #25489
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    2013 F800GT Graphite Metallic
    Not a 2nd childhood, still in the 1st

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    Accidentally rubbed ketchup in my eyes . . . . . now I have Heinzsight.
    2013 F800GT Graphite Metallic
    Not a 2nd childhood, still in the 1st

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  81. #25491
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    2013 F800GT Graphite Metallic
    Not a 2nd childhood, still in the 1st

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  83. #25492
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    2013 F800GT Graphite Metallic
    Not a 2nd childhood, still in the 1st

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  85. #25493
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    Q - How do you dispose a bomb in a cheese factory?
    A - Caerphilly

    Q - What was left after an explosion in the cheese factory
    A - Nothing but de brie

  86. #25494
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    Quote Originally Posted by Herbertchappel View Post
    Q - How do you dispose a bomb in a cheese factory?
    A - Caerphilly

    Q - What was left after an explosion in the cheese factory
    A - Nothing but de brie
    Your 4th post is 2 really bad jokes in the worst jokes ever thread? You're going to fit in well here . . . . Welcome!!!!
    2013 F800GT Graphite Metallic
    Not a 2nd childhood, still in the 1st

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  88. #25495
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    Slow news day . . .
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    2013 F800GT Graphite Metallic
    Not a 2nd childhood, still in the 1st

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  90. #25496
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    Quote Originally Posted by WildWilly View Post
    Your 4th post is 2 really bad jokes in the worst jokes ever thread? You're going to fit in well here . . . . Welcome!!!!
    My thoughts entirely Bill!

    Welcome Herbert etc. etc...
    "I was cut out to be a genius. Unfortunately somebody forgot to put the pieces together"
    Tubby Clayton - Toc H founder

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  92. #25497
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    Photos say a thousand words pt1

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    "I was cut out to be a genius. Unfortunately somebody forgot to put the pieces together"
    Tubby Clayton - Toc H founder

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    One thousand words pt2

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    "I was cut out to be a genius. Unfortunately somebody forgot to put the pieces together"
    Tubby Clayton - Toc H founder

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  96. #25499
    WildWilly's Avatar
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    Charley, a new retiree-greeter at Wal-Mart, just couldn't seem to get to work on time. Every day he was 5, 10, 15 minutes late. But he was a good worker, really tidy, clean-shaven, sharp-minded and a real credit to the company and obviously demonstrating their "Older Person Friendly" policies.

    One day the boss called him into the office for a talk. "Charley, I have to tell you, I like your work ethic, you do a bang-up job when you finally get here; but your being late so often is quite bothersome.”

    "Yes, I know boss, and I am sorry and am working on it.”

    "Well good, you are a team player. That's what I like to hear.”

    “Yes sir, I understand your concern and I will try harder.“

    Seeming puzzled, the manager went on to comment, “I know you're retired from the Armed Forces. What did they say to you there if you showed up in the morning late so often?" The old man looked down at the floor, then smiled. He chuckled quietly, then said with a grin, "They usually saluted and said, Good morning, Admiral, can I get your coffee, sir?”
    2013 F800GT Graphite Metallic
    Not a 2nd childhood, still in the 1st

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    2013 F800GT Graphite Metallic
    Not a 2nd childhood, still in the 1st

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