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Worst Jokes Ever!!!

10M views 27K replies 81 participants last post by  Richard230 
#1 ·
What did the baby light bulb say to his mama? I love you watts and watts.

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "Why the long face?"

A fish swims into a concrete wall and says "Dam!!"

Dyslexics of the world untie!!!

I often miss my ex, but my aim is improving

If you're opposed to gay marriage, blame straight couples. They're the ones having all the gay babies.

What's the difference between a woman with PMS and a pitbull? Lipstick.
 
#24,946 ·
119 People Quarantined In A Brothel In Spain
Of all the places to be quarantined, a brothel in Valencia, Spain, might not be the worst.
You've got booze, you've likely got a small buffet of fried foods and you've got entertainment.

That was exactly the case a day ago when authorities found that a woman working at the "La Selva Negra" brothel had tested positive for coronavirus.
The findings forced authorities to quarantine the premises and the 86 customers that were inside.


The employee, who is now in the hospital, had "slept with several clients that same night," according to a translated blog post on the story.
00:09 / 03:05
In addition to the customers, the club's owners, waitresses, security and cleaning crew were also quarantined.

When added to the total of 86 customers, it makes 119 people under quarantine.

They have been asked to "keep calm" and to just "live a normal life" inside the premises.

That may be easier for some of the patrons than they'd like to admit.
And for all those guys who told their wives they were going to a wine tasting with their buddies and instead went to the brothel, the news may be worse than coronavirus.
 
#24,954 ·
Just got back from Lidl to buy a bag of food for my dog.
Already in line, a woman behind me asked me if I had a dog.
I stared at her (those who know me will imagine my gaze) ...but then why would I be buying dog food...right?
So on impulse I told her no, that I didn’t have a dog, that I was starting the dog food diet again, and that I probably shouldn't because I ended up in the hospital the last time, but i did weigh 4 kilos less!
I told her that it was the perfect diet and that all you had to do is carry a few biscuits in your pocket and eat one or two every time you feel hungry (I have to mention that practically everyone in line was interested in my story).
Frightened, the woman asks me if I ended up in the hospital because the dog food had poisoned me. I answered...of course not!
I was admitted because I bent down to snif the bum of a German Shepherd and I was hit by a truck!
I thought the man behind her was going to have a heart attack...he was laughing so hard!
 
#24,959 ·
Speaking of news stories, check out this one that was in my newspaper yesterday. I have heard of flying pigs, but pyrotechnic pigs? [uhoh]
 

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